joyancejames

Category: fatherhood

  • Rain Stopper

    The sky was overcast, yet the obstinate sun rays managed to sneak through, continuing the delusion that the downpour wasn’t imminent, although I could hear the thunder rumble at a distance. I was about to leave home to pick up my daughter, Faith from her school as I faced a dilemma whether to risk the rain and take my e-scooter or listen to my wiser wife and take the car.
    Finally, I decided to ride to the school and asked God to hold up the rains for 15 minutes till I reached back.

    The rains obeyed their Creator. (Thank you Elijah for giving us a precedent in rain-stopping prayer).

    We started from school and enjoyed the scenic ride back across a small lake and since there wasn’t any rain, we decided to indulge in some shopping too. But what I mis-calculated was my 15-minute-rain-hold time was over, by the time we stepped out of the shop it was pouring! We managed to have an adventurous ride back where I covered Faith with my huge raincoat like a Batman’s cape (picture a hen covering her chicks). Her father’s cape had kept her dry but I was soaking wet!

    Many times we tend to test the limits of divine favour. We lean on our own understanding even when we know better. Father’s favour cannot become an excuse for our foolishness. Favour doesn’t always equate to protection, it includes correction too. 

    On brighter days – without the cape

    King Solomon’s words to the wise – 

    Proverbs 3:5-12 MSG

    [5-12] Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline; don’t sulk under his loving correction. It’s the child he loves that God corrects; a father’s delight is behind all this.

    May the Father’s favour keep us dry, protected & corrected. 😊

    God bless!

  • Holding the Father’s Hands

    Currently, I’m enjoying the phase of my fatherhood where my daughter, Faith, forces me to always hold her hands when we’re outside home (Not sure if boy-dads/moms are as fortunate). I pray that God may spare me the parental phase when the child out grows the desire to hold hands, to be unhindered and free! When Faith holds my hands, she has a sense of security and I’ve a peace of mind that she is with me.
    When walking down the road, from my vantage point (~ 6 feet off the ground) I can see farther, envision any obstacles or difficulties along the way. While I deliberately reduce my stride to accomodate her distractions with the waywide flowers and child-like wonder, I know when to hold her back because a particularly appealing flower, unbeknown  to her grows on a thorn-bush. The childish ambition cries to run ahead in order to finish the walk but fatherly wisdom knows the long walk can’t afford energy expenditure on a sprint!

    Daddy-daughter walks

    The song writer Asaph recalles that even in the midst of his waywardness, he was still held by the hands that created him.
    Psalms 73:23-24 NLT
    [23] Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. [24] You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.

    https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.73.23-24.NLT

    To continually be held by Him is to acknowledge that “His way” is better.
    When all our peers say, “I want it that way” (courtesy Backstreet Boys); can we like another modern day Asaph (Forrest Frank) say,
    “Oh Lord, I need You now more than ever
    Would You put my heart back together
    I searched the world ’til my head hurt
    Just to find out Your way’s better”

    I want it “His way”!

    Isaiah 41:10, 13 NLT
    [10] Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
    [13] For I hold you by your right hand— I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.
    When we walk side-by-side, it is usually my left hand and my daughter’s right hand or vice-versa.
    But here, a beautiful picture emerges, being held by the right hand of Yahweh, signifies His strength, righteousness and victory. In the subsequent verse Isaiah writes that He holds our right hand, implying when our strength is almost spent and we are at the end of our rope, He comes face to face and invites us to rely on His strength and might.

    May we never outgrow the desire to hold and be held by His hands!
    God bless!

  • Lessons from fatherhood – VI

    Resting in His embrace

    My baby, Faith has been sleeping on my chest ever since I can remember. Not sure how I became her favourite mattress, but I guess body warmth and singing worship songs as lullaby did play their part. A sleeping tradition which started even before Faith was 3 months old still continues when she is 21 months old. Now even when I get to see her once in 3 months, because my work takes me away, she still revels in the pre-slumber embrace.

    #howitstartedvshowitsgoing



    At the end of our busy days, when we come back emotionally drained, physically tired and mentally worn out, whom do we turn to for respite and recharge? King David who spent a number of his youth years running for his life for no fault of his confesses this, “now, because of you, Lord, I will lie down in peace and sleep comes at once, for no matter what happens, I will live unafraid!”
    Psalms 4:8 TPT.

    Elsewhere in an another poignantly true song, David asks us to, “give your burdens to the Lord , and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” Psalms 55:22 NLT.
    Here we see a man after God’s own heart, even when besieged by troubles, he knew the secret to a good night’s rest. To cast the burdens on the Lord and recharge in His presence is the secret to David’s survival in his wilderness years.

    Sleeping on my chest gives my baby an opportunity to listen to my heartbeat, probably they add the percussion to her lullaby! Staying close to the Father gives us the liberty of listening to His heartbeat. This proximity to the Father’s heart not only refreshes and recharges our soul but gives us an insight into His will. I’m reminded of the bridge of a famous worship anthem by Hillsong,
    “Heal my heart and make it clean
    Open up my eyes to the things unseen
    Show me how to love
    Like You have loved me
    Break my heart for what breaks Yours
    Everything I am
    For Your kingdom’s cause
    As I walk from earth into eternity”
    – Hosanna

    The next time you lie down to sleep and the worries of your life decide to choke your sleep, remember this promise of Jesus, find your pillow in His embrace and enjoy a good refreshing sleep.
    “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.
    John 14:27 NLT
    God bless!

  • Lessons from fatherhood – V

    Stains of fatherhood

    Anyone who has been a parent, new parents included, can attest to the fact that feeding babies – infants and toddlers is a messy job. Part of the messyness includes getting stains on yourself. My baby girl, Charis Faith Joyance recently turned 1, having graduated from crawling to walking with support and now to walking freely (read running) has given her a greater sense of freedom albeit curbing our freedom.

    I would like to highlight two features of feeding babies, first is the fact that they dirty themselves with food. Sometimes Faith will push away the spoon with her hand or shake her head side to side leading to spillage of food on herself. The second feature is that often times the parent who is feeding gets his/her dress stained too. When in a playful mood, at times Faith will take the contents of the spoon and rub it in her hands then she’ll rub it on my shirt or try to grasp my sleeve, soiling my shirt in the process. I’ve banana, cerelac and countless other stains on my formal shirts and trousers (not mentioning the home clothes), these stains even defeat the washing machine’s cleaning prowess! Sometimes I feel I need a bib more than my baby!

    We as children of God, at times (read most of the times) want to have it our way (my will not thine be done) which leads us to stain our clothes, dirty ourselves. When we see the bigger picture, church as the bride of Christ, throughout history we’ve had a proclivity to stain ourselves much to the merriment of our accusers. Sometimes our actions even cause people to raise a finger at God (akin to us staining our Father’s robes). When we look at church as the body of Christ, we realise that our checkered collective history has done it’s part to stain the robes of Christ.

    Where does this bring us to? Do my baby’s actions cause me to love her less? I may be angry, frustrated but for a moment, but none of this disqualifies her from her father’s love! When we stain ourselves and in turn stain the body of Christ, it does cause hurt to the Father’s heart, but does this cause Him to love us less?

    There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!

    Romans 8:39 TPT

  • Lessons from fatherhood – IV

    Clinging onto the Father

    My baby girl, Faith is almost 10 months, she’s always loved being carried around on her daddy’s arms. She would always hold on to our clothes whenever we pick her up but recently she started grasping, a tight-grasp as if hanging for life. If she fears someone is going to take her away from us (stranger-anxiety) or we are gonna put her down when she wants to be carried around, she will clinch on to my clothes so tightly that we’ve to break her grip first to put her down.
    A baby may think that it’s her cinch, her hold on her dad that’s preventing a fall but in actually it’s the dad’s hold on her that sustains the embrace.
    “Absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our master has embraced us.” Romans 8:39 (The Message)
    It’s not our strength or doing but His embrace that allows us to weather storms and uncharted waters.

    We’ve had a stormy weather past couple of days, with some heavy rains and thundering. Whenever there is a loud frightening thunder, Faith will hold on even so tightly and pull herself closer as if to sink in my embrace.
    This is something that Covid 19 did for the world; a study done in University of Copenhagen said that level of prayer searches (Google) in March 2020 was more than 50 per cent higher than the average during February 2020. The top English-language Bible on Google Play and App Store was installed almost two million times, the highest amount ever recorded for March, according to Appfigures.

    May the trials and storms of our lives push us closer to the heart of our Father, deeper into His embrace rather than pull us away. May our trials function to underscore our need for a savior, our Father. May they function to highlight the preposterousness of the delusions of our self sufficiency.

    God bless!

  • Oh, what have we lost!

    63 million women missing from the 1.3 Bn population of India! (The Guardian 2018)
    It was 50 million in 2002; Allahbadia GN. The 50 million missing women. J Assist Reprod Genet. 2002;19(9):411-416.
    (doi:10.1023/a:1016859622724)
    What we’ve learnt from the past is that these numbers are but just a fraction of the actual magnitude of the problem, just the tip of the ice berg!

    Millions are missing due to sex selective abortions in India, poor nutrition and health care for girls and women adds to the death toll!
    Child sex ratio has progressively worsened since 1951 to the last census in 2011; we’ve now only 918 girls for a 1000 boys!
    Many would consider these million missing ones as blessed cause millions who survived the womb now live in persistent pathetic conditions of poor nutrition, health-care, education and constant abuse.

    This Father’s day, I acknowledge every girl dad, who’s proud to be one, who has provided equal if not better growth opportunities and potential to his daughter (s). Every proud #girldad is a hero. Our country needs more of you. Be a trendsetter, trailblazer, revel in your fatherhood, celebrate the mother, make your daughters proud of their fathers! I always wanted to be a girl dad and I’m proud to be one, I pray that I’ll be a good good father.

    God (the Father) so loved the world that He have His only begotten son so that who so ever may believe in Him may not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

    We see a Father giving away His best for His children, will we go down in history as the nation which killed her daughters?

    As sure as the sun rises each morning, there is hope for us, we can’t undo the past but we can change the future, one father at a time!

  • Lessons from fatherhood – III

    Father’s embrace

    I can’t think of a more opportune time to write this than now, when social distancing has deleted hugs and embrace from our daily life! Physical touch is of utmost significance for humans especially babies and this has been validated by tonnes of research.
    Faith has always been a sucker for my embrace, ever since she was a couple of weeks old. In the winters she needed me to pick her up, walk around and sing her to sleep. (Singing over Faith is featured in the post – Lessons from my fatherhood – I, https://joyancejames.wordpress.com/2020/01/31/lessons-from-fatherhood-i/; you can check it out of you haven’t)

    Mother’s embrace

    Soon she formed a habit which required me to carry her, walk around and put her to sleep at night and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Shalom and my mom used to tell that she’s addicted to my body heat and I’ve spoiled her by always carrying her at night.
    Few things in life are better than having your baby girl sleep on your chest, listening to your heart beat.

    Daddy’s embrace

    To the mankind starved of physical touch, hugs and embrace, Jesus invites us to fall into His arms. In this season of segregation and isolation it is natural to become lonely and depressed, but remember that there is an embrace that transcends distance and fears.

    “I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”

    Romans 8:39 (Message Bible)

    Wherever you are may you always find yourself in the embrace of the Father above.

  • Lessons from fatherhood – II

    Thumb/finger sucking!

    I’m not sure when she actually started her thumb sucking, but what started as an innocuous thumb sucking has now bloomed into obnoxious hand (sometimes even fist) sucking. While medicine says that finger sucking is a normal activity in infants, it should be considered a problem only if it persists beyond 3-4 years. Although normal for her age, Faith’s (my baby girl’s) finger sucking has definitely taught me couple of life lessons.

    Oh, I thought the finger tasted better!

    Firstly, finger sucking is a non-nutritious activity; in our lives when God has ordained for us a nutritious food at a scheduled time, we are caught sucking our fingers, trying to satisfy our hunger ourselves. Instead of readying and developing an appetite for what God has in store for us, we run around in circles trying to have it our way (very much like the baby sucking on her fingers).
    Secondly, finger sucking is also a grim imagery of our impatience. Instead of “in His time”, we want it right now, and that causes us to rely on our own wisdom and strength (read- sucking fingers).

    My finger is my pacifier

    Sometimes I wonder if Faith would develop scales (just like the fishes) on her fingers, due to constant exposure to wet environment! Finger sucking also has the risk of introducing unwanted germs into the mouth, in a similar vein when stray away from what God has in store for us we invite unwanted troubles for ourselves.

    Among the other deleterious effects is that, finger sucking can cause baby to gag and vomit too. Not only is the finger sucking non-nutritious and the “not-so-cute” part of bringing up a baby/child, it can also cause baby to gag and vomit the precious feed received from the mother. Excessive finger sucking can also cause baby to lose appetite for the mother’s milk, same thing that happens to us when we lose appetite for God when we’ll filled ourselves with the junk of having it or way.

    As for my baby Faith, finger sucking is normal and I won’t punish her for that except dissuade her in gentle ways as I can; but for us adults it is essential and beneficial to be led by the finger of God than trying to suck on our own strength.

    May we never forget that the God who promised the promise-land also provides the manna in the wilderness.

    Our finger sucking (relying on our own strength) can pacify us (but for a moment) but only Jesus can satisfy us.

  • Lessons from fatherhood – I

    Singing over my baby girl (Charis Faith Joyance) has become my new favorite pastime. Never knew worship songs could qualify as lullaby, but listening to her father sing has that effect on Faith, irrespective of the lyrics or the genre.
    The prophet Zephaniah writes to the people in the 6th century Jerusalem in Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
    For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”Here is a picture of our heavenly Father taking delight in us, calming us and singing over us. My daughter, Faith has allowed me to experience that delight of the Father. She has learnt to recognize her father’s voice and cease from crying in order to listen. She’s infact taught me that in order to recognize & listen to the Father singing over me I must quiten down.
    The most amazing thing is that my baby listens to my voice even without understanding what is said or sung. Our expression and language is too much for her to comprehend, yet she remains calm and stares intently as if holding on to my every word. Most of the times we do not understand the song our Father in heaven is singing over us. His ways are higher than our ways, human mind and intellect wasn’t made to understand and grasp it all. I’ve learnt to be still and know that He is there.
    Here’s what separates us, earthly fathers from God: God the Father always knows what we cry for even before we cry.“Even when I don’t feel He is working
    Even when I don’t see He is working”He never stops working, singing over us.
    Are we listening?

    Calm and composed in her father’s arms!