joyancejames

Category: life

  • Lessons from fatherhood – III

    Father’s embrace

    I can’t think of a more opportune time to write this than now, when social distancing has deleted hugs and embrace from our daily life! Physical touch is of utmost significance for humans especially babies and this has been validated by tonnes of research.
    Faith has always been a sucker for my embrace, ever since she was a couple of weeks old. In the winters she needed me to pick her up, walk around and sing her to sleep. (Singing over Faith is featured in the post – Lessons from my fatherhood – I, https://joyancejames.wordpress.com/2020/01/31/lessons-from-fatherhood-i/; you can check it out of you haven’t)

    Mother’s embrace

    Soon she formed a habit which required me to carry her, walk around and put her to sleep at night and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Shalom and my mom used to tell that she’s addicted to my body heat and I’ve spoiled her by always carrying her at night.
    Few things in life are better than having your baby girl sleep on your chest, listening to your heart beat.

    Daddy’s embrace

    To the mankind starved of physical touch, hugs and embrace, Jesus invites us to fall into His arms. In this season of segregation and isolation it is natural to become lonely and depressed, but remember that there is an embrace that transcends distance and fears.

    “I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”

    Romans 8:39 (Message Bible)

    Wherever you are may you always find yourself in the embrace of the Father above.

  • Lessons from fatherhood – II

    Thumb/finger sucking!

    I’m not sure when she actually started her thumb sucking, but what started as an innocuous thumb sucking has now bloomed into obnoxious hand (sometimes even fist) sucking. While medicine says that finger sucking is a normal activity in infants, it should be considered a problem only if it persists beyond 3-4 years. Although normal for her age, Faith’s (my baby girl’s) finger sucking has definitely taught me couple of life lessons.

    Oh, I thought the finger tasted better!

    Firstly, finger sucking is a non-nutritious activity; in our lives when God has ordained for us a nutritious food at a scheduled time, we are caught sucking our fingers, trying to satisfy our hunger ourselves. Instead of readying and developing an appetite for what God has in store for us, we run around in circles trying to have it our way (very much like the baby sucking on her fingers).
    Secondly, finger sucking is also a grim imagery of our impatience. Instead of “in His time”, we want it right now, and that causes us to rely on our own wisdom and strength (read- sucking fingers).

    My finger is my pacifier

    Sometimes I wonder if Faith would develop scales (just like the fishes) on her fingers, due to constant exposure to wet environment! Finger sucking also has the risk of introducing unwanted germs into the mouth, in a similar vein when stray away from what God has in store for us we invite unwanted troubles for ourselves.

    Among the other deleterious effects is that, finger sucking can cause baby to gag and vomit too. Not only is the finger sucking non-nutritious and the “not-so-cute” part of bringing up a baby/child, it can also cause baby to gag and vomit the precious feed received from the mother. Excessive finger sucking can also cause baby to lose appetite for the mother’s milk, same thing that happens to us when we lose appetite for God when we’ll filled ourselves with the junk of having it or way.

    As for my baby Faith, finger sucking is normal and I won’t punish her for that except dissuade her in gentle ways as I can; but for us adults it is essential and beneficial to be led by the finger of God than trying to suck on our own strength.

    May we never forget that the God who promised the promise-land also provides the manna in the wilderness.

    Our finger sucking (relying on our own strength) can pacify us (but for a moment) but only Jesus can satisfy us.

  • Process and the purpose

    The intra-uterine (womb) journey from single cell to the approximately trillion cells is 9 month long. 2 parental cells fuse to make one which multiplies into a cluster of cells. Fast forward a few stages we’ve an embryo, few weeks down we’ve a foetus. By the end of 9 months we’ve a baby who is eligible for life outside the womb. Early stages are a far cry from the final baby, unrecognizable in form, but the Psalmist says that God sees our unformed substance in the womb.
    Each stage of the journey isn’t lovely and doesn’t even come close in beauty to the final baby, but each step of the process is as important to the baby.
    We, human beings are imperfect beings, we’re work in progress. Each step of our process is not as lovely or compares to the beauty of what God has intended for us, but each step is essential to what God is making in us and through us.

    We are in a process, be it any stage of our life. Remember that every process has a purpose which is essential to it’s product (outcome).

    And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.
    Philippians 1:6 (Amplified Bible)

  • Guest post: Awaken the artist

    After a short break from blogging, courtesy fatherhood, I’m here back again with my first guest post. We’ve Dr Anu Liza Joy, who recently completed her medical undergraduate studies.

    She is part of She paints life, a group of 5 friends from college who paint for the glory of God and bless people. The 5 loaves which started as paintings in an undergrad hostel in CMC Ludhiana have been multiplied and have blessed thousands.

    JSJM: When/how did you realize and decide to un-bury the talent? (To multiply and make it a blessing for others)
    ALJ: Painting was a stress buster during the busy final year medical school. Colors brought joy to me. Creating was a fun process, especially when all of us got together. Slowly the number of paintings started increasing and thought why don’t we put up a stall and work a little extra for it and bless others too.
    JSJM: what keeps you driving?
    ALJ: For me it’s the joy of seeing the finished product. I love seeing the final picture.
    Creativity is all around you, you just have to look around to get inpired and make something! Stay connected to God – He guides and He is a good teacher.
    JSJM: How do you manage gruelling work schedules and taking out time for your art?
    ALJ: We will always make time to do something we love. Art is therapy, so sitting up a little late or waking up a little early or doing some in between breaks is a pleasure! But mostly, it’s the team work that is our strength in She Paints Life, we always have somebody to cover for us when one is busy and have an unfinished order or work.
    JSJM: What’s your greatest achievement/compliment you received?
    ALJ: “Wow” is my word. I always ask “is it wow?” We make sure we always compliment and encourage each other, at the same time we are open to correction and constructive criticism as well.
    JSJM: Name one artist apart from Jesus, whom you’d want to emulate?
    ALJ: I love people who work with excellence. Stefan Kunz, Ian Bernard and many artists on Instagram who have started small have inspired and taught me a lot on lettering.
    The beauty lies in finding out your style because there is nothing like it when you discover that and that comes with practice!
    JSJM: word of advice to people who wish to follow your path and take art seriously?
    ALJ: Love what you do and Do what you love. The fruit that comes out of it will always be beautiful.
    Start small, keep on it, practice, go for training if you want to, talk to people who are in it, read and research about it, always be open to corrections and suggestions.
    JSJM: Medicine vs Art- who wins?
    ALJ: Medicine is an art more than science, right? I say both go hand in hand.

    Here’s the link to the Instagram page of She paints life, please check it out of you’ve not already, be blessed.

    https://www.instagram.com/shepaintslife/

    The team She paints life, left to right: Drs Ashley, Anu, Amy, Christeena, Leah.

    May we never lose our wonder. Never cease to appreciate beauty around us, may we always nurture it and foster it. May our art please us and bless people and make Abba happy.

  • Bethlehem’s loss

    The palace’s loss was the manger’s gain

    Herod’s loss was the wisemen’s gain

    Innkeeper’s loss was the shepherds’ gain

    Bethlehem’s loss was Nazareth’s gain

    Swaddling clothes gave way to the manger’s hay

    Dazzling regal lights lost to the Star which obeyed it’s Maker

    Wisemen sought Him then

    The wise seek Him still

    Are you counted among the wise?

    Most wish for love, joy and peace for Christmas. But Jesus is the only guarantee of love, joy and peace.

    Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things that ye pine after shall be added unto you.

    Jesus was sought and found by the wisemen and the shepherds and everyone in between, completing the spectrum of the hierarchy in the society.

    Our children don’t need more stories of fictional characters coming down the chimney with gifts, they need to be told about the greatest gift for mankind- Jesus.

    Christmas without Christ is not only a farce but also a tragedy.

    May you have a blessed Christmas.

  • On my knees

    On my knees is when(where) I’m found stronger
    On my knees
    I learn that the battle belongs to Jesus
    I learn that victory belongs to Jesus
    I learn that my Redeemer lives
    I learn I’m more than a conqueror
    I learn that joy comes in the morning

    I learn that He leads me through triumphal procession in Jesus

    I learn that I’m no longer salve to sin

    I learn that I’m a child of God

    I learn that no weapon formed against me shall prosper

    I learn that there is freedom in surrender

    On my knees I find myself in His embrace surrounded by love

    On my knees is my strongest position of defense & offense.

  • The journey of Faith – III

    The journey of Faith – III

    Faith is born- end of the beginning!As we entered the seventh month we realized that with every passing week it was getting more difficult to travel on the bike. Uber became the preferred mode of transport! Going out, movies included had to be curtailed to suit her comfort.
    We had to be extra careful as to what went it (I’m not taking only about food) so the food, fruits, music everything had to be handpicked.
    By July, the heat and humidity of Ludhiana became intolerable for Shalom and the countdown began to go home (Shalom’s) in Kerala. A “surprise” baby shower by our amazing friends (read aunties-to-be) at CRC (church) was the highlight of the last few days before we headed home. Last month before delivery I was away from Shalom and Faith as I had to come back to Ludhiana. Fetal movements and increased pains gave way to sleepless nights over the last week’s leading up to the delivery.
    I’d planned to reach them around a week before the due date, but thanks to the impatience of both of them I reached more than 12 hours after her arrival. Charis “Faith” Joyance was born on September the 4th, eleven days before the due date. Shalom endured her worst describable pain before she was born, it’s incredible how a mother goes through her worst pain before she gets her best gift.

    As I look back in retrospect, the journey is far from over. The journey of planned parenthood from conception to holding her in our arms, has really been a journey of faith for the two of us. It was a testament to the faithfulness of God.
    We may not enjoy every bit of the journey but it does prepare us for the destination, for what lies ahead. Grace for the journey comes with greater grace for what lies ahead. The God who saw our unformed substance in our mother’s womb, has seen our journey from a single cell organism to the trillion cell one reading this and He knows what’s best for us.

  • The journey of Faith – II

    The journey of Faith – II

    Faith is growing

    As we entered the second trimester, we expected to leave behind nausea and morning sickness, instead they journeyed with us into the early weeks of the second trimester. By now we were better equipped to deal with them.
    Then came the summer of Ludhiana with it’s dreaded and loathsome humidity. Shalom’s intolerance to heat only made it worse, then as if to pass the testing through fire, she developed tenia pedis (fungal infection of feet). We learnt to combat this with topical creams and better foot wear.
    Around the fifth month when the mom-to-be started perceiving the fetal movements I realized that this was a new way in which the mom and the fetus can bond, a privilege that the dad-to-be can’t afford! To be precise, Shalom first felt the fetal kick on the Easter morning! Oh, what a glorious day to kick your mom and make your existence felt. Later we realized that Faith had a distinct taste for music as her kicking (fetal moments) increased considerably when there was music around. Most startling of her expressed love for music would be the time of praise & worship at the church. Shalom would at times feel a kick beneath her ribs and in pelvis too as if Faith was raising both hands as in a Hallelujah!
    We’d play Beethoven and Mozart at home to refine and fan into flame Faith’s love for music. Also it helped to give benefit of doubt to “the Mozart effect”! “Mozart effect” is a controversial claim by a French researcher that listening to classical music helps in increasing IQ in babies and young children, even if this is an untrue, far fetched theory, classical music does calm and sooth the mind.
    His grace was enough, every passing day was a proof of that. Both of us wondering what she was upto when she wasn’t kicking, as for me I cherished the hours I spent with my hands on her tummy to feel Faith’s kick. Oh, how the Father above also yearns for us to connect with Him.
    Mommy-to-be slowly got used to the stretch marks and we braced ourselves for the final trimester before Faith arrived.

  • The journey of Faith – I

    The journey of Faith – I

    Faith conceived

    As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to father a daughter. In this series- “Journey of Faith” I write in retrospect our journey to planned parenthood. In the first installment of this series, I’ve documented the beginnings till the first 3 months (first trimester) of pregnancy.
    To give a background, my best half – Shalom and I are doctors, Shalom finished her post-graduation in Anatomy and joined me in Ludhiana in July 2018, where I was in the final year of my residency (post-graduation) in Orthopaedics.
    In early January of 2019 we did the pregnancy test and found out that we’re going to be promoted to parenthood soon. A miracle in itself, that we conceived in the first month when we set out to try, God’s timing is always right. As the initial excitement fizzed and we decided to keep the matters low key, morning sickness hit like a fierce hurricane.
    Shalom, who had already been blessed with an hyper acute sense of smell, now had her senses going into an overdrive; just to illustrate, at supper time she could smell my breath and guess what I had for breakfast! Eventually, she had to resign from the kitchen (more like our home, yes, she found the home itself nausea-inducing). More than once the nausea and vomiting made her loath to the core the journey to motherhood making her more determined that ever that this would be our first and last pregnancy (which only time will tell, as God unfolds his plans one day at a time).
    We decided to nickname our little one – “Faith”, and I was convinced beyond a doubt that Faith, our first born would be a daughter. I made it a point to sing and play the ukelele at the family prayer every night and most importantly to keep Shalom happy (a happy mother is equivalent to a happy family).
    Looking back I realize that when God put Adam to sleep to make Eve from his missing rib, He definitely would have added extra doses of tenacity and resilience for the woman to endure the journey to motherhood. Volumes have been written about a woman’s journey to motherhood, but it is an overwhelming and humbling experience for a man to travel along with her to fatherhood. Now I realize that this journey has brought us closer to the heart of the Father in heaven.

  • Graduated from darkness

    “Seeds grow in dark places”– C S Lewis

    In the beginning, when the Earth was formless and darkness was on the face of the great deep, God spoke into the darkness and there was light. He switched on the light first before delving into the creation. All of creation was birthed from a formless void of darkness!
    At the cross, He cried out, the cries of a Son separated from the Father, forsaken! In that moment darkness reigned, and in that darkness was wrought salvation for all mankind!
    In your darkness a seed is growing. There isn’t any fanfare or evident activity, growing seed is as inconspicuous as a lion stalking it’s prey. It is incredible to see the tiny seed sending up a shoot and displacing all the dirt and earth that was burying the seed. The seed lying dead in a jar on the shelf comes alive when buried in the earth surrounded by darkness. “Mighty oaks from little acorns grow”.

    Plant-Grow-Seedling-Sunshine-
    Pushing up through the darkness and dirt

    The same power of Jesus, the grave robbing power is made available to all who believe. The darkness and the deep don’t bother the seed which is placed inside of you.

    “There ain’t no grave
    Gonna hold my body down
    There ain’t no grave
    Gonna hold my body down
    And when I hear that trumpet sound
    I’m gonna rise up outta the ground
    There ain’t no grave
    Gonna hold my body down”
    – Ain’t no grave by Molly Skaggs, M Helser & J Helser

    Darkness is required to appreciate the light, a humble candle seems brightest and of most use in the darkest night. God has made you a light. Doesn’t matter if your light is a candle or a torch! A flame-torch is an overkill in a small room and a candle is out of place in a large hall way! Neither can replace the other. Each has its place to shine. The fire in the candle and the flaming torch is the same, both fight darkness equally well in their niche.

    This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, will you?