joyancejames

Category: life

  • Beauty in the scars

    You’d judge me a sadist to associate beauty with scars, but hear me out first before you strike the mallet of judgment. Scars have been underrated and mostly looked down upon with repulsion, hidden away like an unwanted (mis)fortune. We hate scars because they arouse painful, loathsome memories. Scars are aching reminders of a past that cuts down our pride in the present, but they are meant for so much more than that.

    June of 2016 was such a defining moment in the history of our lives, mummy was diagnosed to have a meningioma and was taken up for a craniotomy for which she had to go bald. As Nick Vujicic said, “If you can’t get a miracle then become one”, what was meant to break us only made us stronger. She recuperated astonishingly fast after the surgery and within a month joined her rigorous routine as the Principal of K.V CRPF Gandhinagar.

    “It is not during the day that the light-house shines the brightest to guide the ships, sometimes darkness is essential to shine the brightest and fulfill the purpose.”

    The scar on her scalp is a reminder of the season of darkness in which His light shined forth and reflected through her life, making her a reluctant lighthouse when all she probably wanted to be was a candle on the table. Her scar is a reminder of the strength she drew from God and that she’d have never know the boundaries of her strength till her limits were tested and she was pushed into the unknown waters. Unknown waters scare the best of us because they are like a rude awakening call to remind us that we are not in control and beckon us to rely in the sovereignty of God. Every scar is a flag to His faithfulness and His grace. It’s a reminder that we thrive today because we survived then because His grace was sufficient.

    But for Goliath, David would have never known or realized the seeds of greatness within him and his destiny of being the giant slayer. The stones inside your palm may be small but your giants will fall because it’s not by might or by power but by His Spirit and greater is the One living inside of you than he who is in the world. He sees the beauty in our scars because He has seen the transformation on the potter’s wheel. The scars summon us to step out in faith to step beyond the confines of our logical reasoning.

    PS: It’s been just over a year since mummy’s surgery and she has bounced back stronger than before into what has been a very happening year for us and her life & testimony continue to be an inspiration.19400522_1295306623851251_8468535778258550639_o

  • Good Friday- Yahweh’s valentine gift to humanity!

    Good Friday- Yahweh’s valentine gift to humanity!

    The Darling of heaven traded the adoration of angles for the scorn of mortals, His throne for the crown of thorns, His comfort for the curse of the cross, paying an expensive price so that we might be bypassed from the road He traveled, Good Friday is the culmination of this most extreme form of love.

    Good Friday is God’s intervention by means of personally taking on the man’s perpetual losing battle against sin and death. And when His only begotten cried out, “It is finished”, it indeed was over, finished and done for good.

    Jesus, God’s very own felt abandonment at the cross so that we who have been adopted into His family will never be abandoned.

    Because of the cross now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and walk not according to their whims and fancies but according to the Holy Spirit. Just like His birth (Christmas) divided our time/calendar into two, His death (Good Friday) divides our lives into two halves 1. Under the law.  2. Under grace

    John 19:30, when He cried out, “it is finished” is where the reach of the law ended as it was nailed to the cross completed and fulfilled for us in our place by God’s propitiation.

    I’m reminded of the lyrics of a beautiful song, here it goes:

    “No matter the bumps No matter the bruises
    No matter the scars still the truth is
    The cross has made The cross has made you flawless
    No matter the hurt Or how deep the wound is
    No matter the pain Still the truth is
    The cross has made The cross has made you flawless

    No matter what they say or what you think you are
    The day you called His name He made you flawless” -Flawless by MercyMe

    In Good Friday, Yahweh offers a (I should say “the”) solution for the malady that ails mankind: Jesus. He did not come to start off a religion (as if there was dearth of any), but He came to restore a relationship. He did not fit the “Messiah” mould of the Jews and they overlooked Him, salvation through grace was too easy an idea for the sophisticated minds of the Greeks and they missed Him too. Empires have risen and fallen, kings and kingdoms have disappeared without a trace, but there has only been One King who gave up His only Son to restore the relation with His people. And His offer/solution to mankind still holds true: “the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23b.

    God bless.

  • The first Christmas gift

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    Somehow over the centuries (from the 1st century AD to our present day) Christmas got associated with gifts. But what is most often overlooked and forgotten is the gift on the first Christmas. Nah I’m not talking about the frankincense, gold and myrrh, these fade away into oblivion before the Father’s gift. Jesus- the Father’s gift to a ailing humanity, Jesus- the reason for the season.

    The gift which came not in glittering paper yet was encased in manger-hay when viewed by His first visitors. The gift which wasn’t delivered by a Santa but whose coming was announced by an angel and the arrival celebrated by a host of these angelic beings. It wasn’t under a tree decked with lights but under the vast expanse of the night sky illuminated by the stars. And in this collision of the Heaven’s Best with the poverty of our world, lies the invitation to every boy and girl, man and woman; irrespective of cast or creed or color, to partake of the gift. The gift came not with an expiry date but with a life time validity with the after effects reaching into eternity.

    The Father sent His best to draw to Him His estranged creation, only the best could satiate the pangs of the Father’s heart to be united with His alienated creation, if He didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? (Romans 8:32 Message).

    The Jews needed a Messiah and waited so long for His arrival, but finally couldn’t recognize Him when He came. Their myopic vision was fixed in the palace for a regal Messiah so they missed the servant King who came through the humble manger.Our world today, needs a Messiah too, hope we learn from the loss incurred by the Jews due to their inability to recognize Him. Father’s gift is still valid, “Behold, He stands at the door and knocks…”

    Have a blessed Christmas season.

  • Handiwork

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    He clothes the lilies of the field, cares to feed the sparrows, calls the stars by name, owns the cattle on a thousand hills, but all these came forth with just a command. He spoke and they were. He spoke and nothingness gave way to creation. Yet all this awe inspiring beauty surrounding us came into being with just a verbal command without flexing any divine muscle. They came about as a part of mass production, He spoke and the oceans teemed with life, birds decorated the skyline and the millions of species of living things came about.
    But you and I are not a part of the verbal command and production factory. We are custom made, we’re His handiwork, we bear His fingerprints. He designed us in the womb and supervised the development of our formless embryo. From the 2 celled being to the 100 trillion being reading this, He has monitored the entire process of growth. Why so much interest in one isolated thing of this vast creation?
    Because you and I were made in His image to reflect His glory, no wonder we bear His fingerprints. After 5 days of intense creative activity the Father finally said, “Let us (summoning the other members of the trinity) make man in Our image, according to our likeness” (Genesis 1:26).  What is man? Dust of the earth + Divine breath; fashioned in the image of Yahweh, yet made a little lower than the angels but crowned with glory and honor (Psalms 8:5), His workmanship (Handiwork), created in Christ Jesus for good works (Ephesians 2:10).

    The next time you’re hemmed in by troubles all around and your hope gives way to despair then look out of the window, notice the sparrows and remind yourself of the Father who feeds them, how much more will He not do for someone He created in His own image? As I write this, I’m reminded of the lyrics from the song “Reach” by Peter Furler:

    “You hold the weight of the world
    Still I don’t slip through your hands
    Your love is bigger
    Than just an ocean built by man
    I fall again and again
    But You whisper, “You’re still mine”
    You feel the pain of the world
    But You never push mine aside”

  • This is our time!

    Well, this enlightening moment transpired when I was in mummy’s room where she was resting after her surgery, I was pacing up and down the room trying to get a handle on my thoughts and this was the song which was playing in the background:

    “This will be the best time of our life as we encounter Your love again.
    Here with You our hearts will come alive as we declare Your praises                                       This is our time, this is our place, this is our moment to lift Your name.”                                 This is our time- Planetshakers

    And I thought to myself, “How ironic! Here we were going through the furnace, how could this be our time?” That’s when Abba explained it to me, that this was indeed “our time”, this was our moment to lift His name.

    Back in the day when Daniel was threatened with the lion’s den, logically thinking wouldn’t it be easier for God to bypass the lion’s den than to shut up the mouths of hungry lions? The king already favored Daniel thanks to his wisdom and insight, so would it be too much to ask to bend the rules for Daniel this time? It would have been easier, would have saved a lot of trouble and heartache for the king too, but what about his detractors? They sure would have cried foul! Why would Yahweh settle for a lesser miracle, so into the Lion’s den Daniel went claiming his promise of Psalms 91, “You’ll walk unharmed among the lions and the serpents” (The Message). Next day as the den was opened the heavyhearted king got a reason to rejoice and to believe, the hungry lions had disappointed the detractors and the kingdom was brought to its knees in awe of Yahweh. In the end it wasn’t about Daniel or the hungry lions or the king, but about a kingdom bowing down in worship and awe of its true King- Yahweh.

    Our mortal minds may not understand all the plans He has for us, maybe we are not meant to (no wonder He says do not worry about tomorrow). His plans are so much bigger that the ones we have. God was planning to save an entire kingdom while Daniel was praying to God to save him.

     We as a family, as we go through this, we have realized, His plans are so much higher than ours and “And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God.”  Romans 8:28 (Amplified Bible).

    And until the bigger picture is revealed,

    “I’ll praise you in this storm
    And I will lift my hands
    That you are who you are
    No matter where I am
    And every tear I’ve cried
    You hold in your hand
    You never left my side
    And though my heart is torn
    I will praise you in this storm”

                                                       I’ll praise you in this storm-Casting Crowns

    PS: It’s day 2 after the surgery and mummy is fine, flaunting her new hairdo, walking around, eating well and testifying of His love.

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  • Bald & Beautiful

    Hair-fall? Wh-what is that?

    When I first got the news that mummy has a small tumor in her brain which would require a surgery, almost instantly my mind was flooded with images of Neurosurgical patients (thanks to my experience as a house doctor in Neurosurgery ICU) in various states of consciousness with orange adhesives adorning their bare scalps, with pipes and tubes connecting them to monitors, ventilators and their kind. Believe me it is not a very pretty sight, especially when it comes to seeing the people you love in that helpless state.

    As she prepared herself for her new look, she had an assurance that the hair will grow back stronger and longer this time. Something similar happened to my grandma who too underwent a major surgery to remove a brain tumor but God blessed her with healthier hair (waist-length) almost double the pre-operative hair length. It was like Job, his latter end was more blessed than his former and he was blessed with double for his trouble. Mummy was almost thanking God for the waist length hair that would grow back in a few months time. Mummy knew she wasn’t alone.

    “When I walk through deep waters
    I know that You will be with me
    When I’m standing in the fire
    I will not be overcome
    Through the valley of the shadow
    I will not fear

    I am not alone
    I am not alone
    You will go before me
    You will never leave me”- I’m not alone- Kari Jobe

    I love the Amplified Bible’s paraphrase of Philippians 4:13- “I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]” We also experienced what apostle Paul probably went through when he wrote, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair” 2 Corinthians 4. But one of the most amazing things I noticed was mummy was upbeat all this while ready to take in stride everything that came up.

    And the night before the surgery when she finally got her new look, she told me she is not troubled and disturbed by this surgery as God had given her strength and grace. She recently emerged out of a major depressive episode so she felt that the tumor could not shake her faith and her hope. The depression had only helped to cement her faith in her creator. Her life is now a testament to Abba’s promise that His grace is enough for us and His strength is made perfect in weakness.

    Thank Abba no more hair-fall, split-ends and bad hair days! Phew!

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    Before being wheeled into the operation theater!
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    Bald & beautiful: 2 bald-heads 😉 Day 1 post surgery

  • Your Love never fails!

    “Nothing can separate even if I run away

    Your love never fails

    I know I still make mistakes

    But you have new mercies for me everyday

    Your love never fails”

    Your love never fails by Jesus Culture

    When Abba had to find a parallel to illustrate His love for us he chose a mother’s love. Mother’s love is the best we humans can get as far as unconditional (agape) love is concerned. And He said that even if a mother’s love fails still mine won’t. Truly it is unconditional with an unlimited warranty. Just as a baby doesn’t have to strive to earn its mother’s love or attention similarly neither do we have to strive to achieve our Father’s love. He can’t love us more that He already does because He’s given His best-Jesus, His son to demonstrate His love.

    If God loved the human race through the murder of His Son won’t He love us through our failures? If He ever kept a standard to qualify for His love then no one ever would, so He passed out an open invitation for all the mankind through His son. Love finds the way when everyone else gives excuses; it sees the gold in the garbage. But being as imperfect as we are, will we be ever worthy of such love? That’s the most fascinating part of His love: you don’t have to change for God to love you, but rather allow His love to change you! Accepting Jesus makes us worthy of the Father’s love and the Message Bible puts it beautifully in Romans 8, “I’m absolutely convinced that nothing-nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable- absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”

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  • Break me to make me

    As I write this I’m just a few days into my Orthopedic residency and it already seems ages cause the days feel longer and the nights shorter than in my days of freedom. Paradigm shift is one phrase which aptly describes my predicament which among others involves the hospital becoming my first home and my hostel room an unaffordable luxury!
    In the past few days, I’ve journeyed through different stages of sleep deprivation and starvation not to mention the crankiness and frustration that builds up alongside. I discovered that I’ve an uncanny knack of catching up for the lost sleep: I can literally nod off while standing, doze off while talking to someone, snooze and then drool over my history sheets which I decorate with my illegible handwriting! Apart from my sleep (mis)adventures I realized that my entire days schedule would be dictated by someone, at times I’d be expected to run errands like a headless robot! And this is just the beginning of an arduous journey.
    But through all of it this a beautiful realization dawned that I had to be broken to be made into something more beautiful. He is the Potter and I’m the clay, the process may be painful, the furnace unbearable and the way unfathomable but the end product is definitely beautiful. I’ve tasted and seen that His grace is enough. Like apostle Paul I can say, “whatever I’ve, wherever I’m, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am” (Phil 4). As I sleep-walked through the hospital corridors at unearthly hours I found myself singing songs of praise. I’ve seen the miracle that happens when Christ displaces the worries at the center of our lives.

    I’m reminded of a song:
    “In the dark, in the light,
    In the morning and night
    In the good, in the hurt,
    In the places I hide

    When I rise, when I fall,
    You’ll be there through it all
    At the start, at the end
    In the center of, the center of it”
    Center of it by Chris August

  • My 5 String Guitar!

    The chronicles of Jagdishpur continue: as a solution for my monotonous solitude we decided to revive an acoustic guitar from ruins. But alas, when we finally succeeded we realized that we didn’t have the first E string! That’s how I got my 5 string guitar. The next day when I offered the guitar to a friend to play he replied that he couldn’t play it since it didn’t have the E string so it wouldn’t sound melodious and surely it would lack the richness and tonal quality of a 6 string one.

    But as I played it I realized that it wasn’t that bad either and God even gave me a new song on a 5 string guitar! Then I even played it in the hospital chapel devotion and the people seemed to enjoy the music totally oblivious to the lack of one string.

    This led me to grasp the life-lesson He wanted me to learn: our lives are like this 5 string guitar- Incomplete/Imperfect but what matters is the skill of the one who is playing the instrument. In His hands all the imperfection fades out and we find our completeness in Him. Our inadequacies make way for His competence; the Master’s proficiency covers and drowns out our depravity. He doesn’t need a Taylor or a Fender when He can use a humble country made guitar which makes itself available to the Master. He doesn’t look for ability but rather availability because He gives the ability, there goes this famous saying, “He doesn’t call the qualified but He qualifies the called.” Paul writes about God’s selection criteria in 1 Corinthians “and God also selected (deliberately chose) what in the world is low born and insignificant and branded and treated with contempt, that He might depose and bring to nothing the things that are” (Amplified Bible)

    God created all the awe inspiring beauty around us out of nothingness and He can do the same to your nothingness and void. Sometimes it takes long and the wait is tedious but He doesn’t follow our schedule, He has His own and He is never late. He created the visible world in 6 days out of a void and he will do the same with your void too.

    I’m reminded of a song as I wrap up this article:

    “I wouldn’t choose me first if I was looking for a champion

    In fact I’d understand if you picked everyone before me

    But that’s just not my story

    True to who You are You saw my heart and made something out of nothing

    I don’t need my name in lights I’m famous in my Father’s eyes”

    He knows my name by Francesca Battistelli.

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    A caricature of me with a guitar! (6 string one though)

  • Never alone!

    All His promises saying “I will never leave you…” came alive in a new dimension when my work commitments as a Doctor took me to a mission hospital in a remote, nondescript village (read jungle): Jagdishpur in the Indian state of Chhattisgarh. The remoteness of this place can be gauged by the fact that this place even baffles Google when you inquire about it! On reaching my destination on the first day my mobile network betrayed me leaving me disconnected with the world outside the hospital and it took me a couple of days to establish connection.

    It is in this solitude that I realized that Christ is enough and I learnt that “Whatever I have and wherever I am I can make it thorough anything in the One who makes me who I am” (Philippians 4 The Message). I realized as the lyrics of the song by Hillsongs says, “Christ is enough for me, and everything I need is in you.”

    When we stare at the sun for a moment, all else around us fades, similarly when we focus on the Son (Jesus), everything else fades into oblivion. As the lyrics of the famous song, “When all things surround me become shadows in the light of you…” I experienced the solitude & social seclusion fade away when I fixed my eyes on Jesus.

    Then there were night calls from the hospital which I’d to attend and walk the distance from my room to the hospital in the dead of night sleep-walking on paths carpeted by autumn leaves. Every rustle of the leaves would quicken the senses fearing some creeping or crawling fiend would jump out with my next step. In those eerie moments He filled me with a fuller measure of His love and reminded me of this beautiful song:

    “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
    Your perfect love is casting out fear
    I will fear no evil for my God is with me and if my God is with me whom then shall I fear?” You never let go by Matt Redman

    Another song that I’m reminded of as I now muse over my experiences is:

    “You were singing in the dark
    whispering Your promise
    even when I could not hear
    I was held in Your arms
    Carried for a thousand miles to show
    Not for a moment did You forsake me” Not for a moment (after all) Meredith Andrews

    Indeed when His loves fills our hearts to overflowing it also fills us with the assurance of the surety of His promises. As John puts it best, “Perfect loves casts out fear”.

    Certainly once in Christ, we’re never alone!

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    The lake at Jagdishpur