joyancejames

Tag: #parenthood #heartofafather

  • Lessons from fatherhood – I

    Singing over my baby girl (Charis Faith Joyance) has become my new favorite pastime. Never knew worship songs could qualify as lullaby, but listening to her father sing has that effect on Faith, irrespective of the lyrics or the genre.
    The prophet Zephaniah writes to the people in the 6th century Jerusalem in Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
    For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”Here is a picture of our heavenly Father taking delight in us, calming us and singing over us. My daughter, Faith has allowed me to experience that delight of the Father. She has learnt to recognize her father’s voice and cease from crying in order to listen. She’s infact taught me that in order to recognize & listen to the Father singing over me I must quiten down.
    The most amazing thing is that my baby listens to my voice even without understanding what is said or sung. Our expression and language is too much for her to comprehend, yet she remains calm and stares intently as if holding on to my every word. Most of the times we do not understand the song our Father in heaven is singing over us. His ways are higher than our ways, human mind and intellect wasn’t made to understand and grasp it all. I’ve learnt to be still and know that He is there.
    Here’s what separates us, earthly fathers from God: God the Father always knows what we cry for even before we cry.“Even when I don’t feel He is working
    Even when I don’t see He is working”He never stops working, singing over us.
    Are we listening?

    Calm and composed in her father’s arms!

  • The journey of Faith – II

    The journey of Faith – II

    Faith is growing

    As we entered the second trimester, we expected to leave behind nausea and morning sickness, instead they journeyed with us into the early weeks of the second trimester. By now we were better equipped to deal with them.
    Then came the summer of Ludhiana with it’s dreaded and loathsome humidity. Shalom’s intolerance to heat only made it worse, then as if to pass the testing through fire, she developed tenia pedis (fungal infection of feet). We learnt to combat this with topical creams and better foot wear.
    Around the fifth month when the mom-to-be started perceiving the fetal movements I realized that this was a new way in which the mom and the fetus can bond, a privilege that the dad-to-be can’t afford! To be precise, Shalom first felt the fetal kick on the Easter morning! Oh, what a glorious day to kick your mom and make your existence felt. Later we realized that Faith had a distinct taste for music as her kicking (fetal moments) increased considerably when there was music around. Most startling of her expressed love for music would be the time of praise & worship at the church. Shalom would at times feel a kick beneath her ribs and in pelvis too as if Faith was raising both hands as in a Hallelujah!
    We’d play Beethoven and Mozart at home to refine and fan into flame Faith’s love for music. Also it helped to give benefit of doubt to “the Mozart effect”! “Mozart effect” is a controversial claim by a French researcher that listening to classical music helps in increasing IQ in babies and young children, even if this is an untrue, far fetched theory, classical music does calm and sooth the mind.
    His grace was enough, every passing day was a proof of that. Both of us wondering what she was upto when she wasn’t kicking, as for me I cherished the hours I spent with my hands on her tummy to feel Faith’s kick. Oh, how the Father above also yearns for us to connect with Him.
    Mommy-to-be slowly got used to the stretch marks and we braced ourselves for the final trimester before Faith arrived.

  • The journey of Faith – I

    The journey of Faith – I

    Faith conceived

    As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to father a daughter. In this series- “Journey of Faith” I write in retrospect our journey to planned parenthood. In the first installment of this series, I’ve documented the beginnings till the first 3 months (first trimester) of pregnancy.
    To give a background, my best half – Shalom and I are doctors, Shalom finished her post-graduation in Anatomy and joined me in Ludhiana in July 2018, where I was in the final year of my residency (post-graduation) in Orthopaedics.
    In early January of 2019 we did the pregnancy test and found out that we’re going to be promoted to parenthood soon. A miracle in itself, that we conceived in the first month when we set out to try, God’s timing is always right. As the initial excitement fizzed and we decided to keep the matters low key, morning sickness hit like a fierce hurricane.
    Shalom, who had already been blessed with an hyper acute sense of smell, now had her senses going into an overdrive; just to illustrate, at supper time she could smell my breath and guess what I had for breakfast! Eventually, she had to resign from the kitchen (more like our home, yes, she found the home itself nausea-inducing). More than once the nausea and vomiting made her loath to the core the journey to motherhood making her more determined that ever that this would be our first and last pregnancy (which only time will tell, as God unfolds his plans one day at a time).
    We decided to nickname our little one – “Faith”, and I was convinced beyond a doubt that Faith, our first born would be a daughter. I made it a point to sing and play the ukelele at the family prayer every night and most importantly to keep Shalom happy (a happy mother is equivalent to a happy family).
    Looking back I realize that when God put Adam to sleep to make Eve from his missing rib, He definitely would have added extra doses of tenacity and resilience for the woman to endure the journey to motherhood. Volumes have been written about a woman’s journey to motherhood, but it is an overwhelming and humbling experience for a man to travel along with her to fatherhood. Now I realize that this journey has brought us closer to the heart of the Father in heaven.